Understand the three causes of overthinking and feel good about yourself.
KEY POINTS
– Overthinking can be caused by three main types of situations.
– If you are introverted and confident, certain types of people can benefit from these traits.
– As you enter a new chapter in your life, for better or for worse, you may get a little nervous.
Thinking too much means suffering.Trapped in your own head, you can agonize for hours, sometimes days. Knowing where overthinking comes from and why it happens will help you deal with it better. The first source can be interpersonal relationships. If you care deeply about your relationships, perhaps you overthink it when interacting with a certain type of partner. The second concerns self-esteem.You can change jobs, go back to school, or get divorced. Either way, if this is a new chapter in your life, it can trigger a period of deep reflection. Third, you and many others may suffer from excessive thinking, which can be termed “strange anxiety.” Sometimes it’s dark or crazy worries that creep into your head and linger for a while, especially at night.
1. Interpersonal Dynamics
You can be a person who pays close attention to how your actions and words affect those around you. You are not afraid to look in the mirror, you are conscientious and try to understand the point of view of your loved one. When you realize that you may have done or said something hurtful, quickly try to take responsibility and close the gap in the relationship. While these are emotional intelligence traits that will serve you well when dealing with someone of equal ability, they may diminish somewhat when dealing with someone who is emotionally unavailable.
An emotionally unavailable person is self-centered, which prevents them from understanding your point of view when it differs from theirs. In their opinion, they are always right. Also, their firm and rigid defensiveness prevents them from looking inward and examining their own flaws, selfish moments, and hurtful behaviors. Instead, they play the victim and call you the antagonist. It can be very confusing.Your reality is colliding with the reality of your loved one and as you look at yourself you ask yourself if you are wrong even when you are not. The dynamics can cause too many reflection bumps and be uncomfortable. Take the time to evaluate the emotional security of this relationship. It might be time to set healthy boundaries.
2. Self-esteem issues
You may be entering a new phase in your life. It can be healthy and positive, like moving across the country to find your dream job, or it can be bittersweet, like getting a divorce or retiring from a field you’re passionate about. . Either way, this significant life change will do wonders for your sense of self. A huge life pivot is forcing you to give up small aspects of your identity.For example, when you change jobs, you leave behind your old job title, along with some attachment to the job that can be grounding and comforting. It removes your sense of self from some of the important things that underlie it. While necessary, giving up these will lead to a temporary loss of self-esteem. The short but destabilizing
phase can cause excessive reflected waves. For example:
– Am I doing this right?
– Am I born to do this?
– Am I good enough?
– I feel like an imposter.
– Will I do it?
– What if I lie to myself that I can do this but I can’t?
Even if you doubt yourself and analyze everything you do, it’s only temporary. Your sense of self is actively reinforcing with every step you take towards your new endeavor. It takes time, but your sense of self will integrate the new to fill in the gaps left by the old. You will probably settle down and thinking too much can slow you down.
3. Strange anxieties
Often at night, when you are less distracted, you can be overwhelmed by strange worries. These are sometimes odd and seemingly dark thoughts. For example, you are suddenly worried that you will have a horrible car accident on your way to work the next day. You often wonder, “Where does this come from?“Dark thoughts can make you feel dark and that can make you anxious.
These horrible thoughts may come from past trauma. While you may have dealt with this trauma and largely recovered, your brain has changed. What the human brain hates most is to let its guard down before an event that causes its world to fall apart in an instant. The experience is so painful that it’s hard for your mind to understand that anything can happen at any time and turn your world upside down.So there are times when your brain tries to predict it. This way he doesn’t go blind. So it reminds you from time to time that in this life something terrible can happen at any time and you have very little control.
Reference by psychologytoday.com
